Heartbeat Heartbeat I need an attitude adjustment.

Money, Power and Respect. I have my stories and you have yours. You respect mine and I'll respect yours. Cheers! :)

BAPAK AH! I FORGOT I HAVE TUMBLR! MWHEHEH! :D

Okay okay. Time for me to write down shits that has been going through my head. Why hello there whoever is reading this ;D HAHA. I came across with this earlier in Facebook:

“Assalammualaikum – alhamdulillah tamat juga. Kadang-kadang dalam hidup ini tak semua benda kita boleh dapat. Apa yang kita rancang terkadang tak sama dengan apa yang kita akan dapat. Untuk kisah ini, bagi Aiman satu pengakhiran yang baik sebab dia sempat mendekati dirinya dengan ALLAH, dia juga dalam keadaan yang bersih. Bagi kita? wallahualam, hidup mati ini tak tentu bila tapi ingatlah. Ianya pasti. Permulaan hidup kita sangat indah di azan atau di iqamatkan. Ayat pertama yang kita dengar. Alangkah indahnya jikalau akhir hayat kita juga di akhiri dengan kalimah yang indah. Mari kita berusaha menjadi hamba yang baik. Ingat mati itu pasti syurga atau neraka yang menanti. ”

I got that from a love story in Facebook. Someone in my friend’s list shared it so it came out on my NewsFeed. Its a beautiful love story i must say, nothing cliche. Yes, coming from someone who hates love stories, I’ve got to give this love story a 5 star. 

Okay okay, the main reason why Im actually writing this down is because somehow something clicked to me while I was reading that last paragraph of that story. Mati itu pasti. So, kenapa waste time untuk mencari hiburan dunia or harta dunia kan bila yang pasti, benda begitu hanya membawakan kepada keseronakan yang sementara dan dosa yang akan kekal? Kita kan kena bersedia bila berdepan dengan Allah nanti? No, Im not saying that you have to be betul betul realigious sampai tak nak bekerja tu kan. Tu bangang namanya. Banyak sangat manusia yang bangang macam tu. Erghhh. We need ilmu dunia dan ilmu akhirat untuk bersedia bila berdepan dengan Allah nanti. 

Im not perfect, I admit. I am trying so hard to be the best when my time comes. You’ll never know when its coming. Kita semua patut bersedia, kan? If there’s something that I’ve learnt throughout my years of living in this world (ceh macam hidup lama pulak), I would say that Allah is the best listener there is, the best place for you ask for guidance and forgiveness. Always ask for His forgiveness, never complains when He gives you obstacles. Instead, be thankful. He knows you’re strong enough to get through it even if it means you carrying the weight of the world on your shoulder. Oh dear Allah, I am thankful to be born as a Muslim. :)

I wish that everyday when my time comes, Ill be reciting the 2 khalimah syahaadah (k tak tahu apa tu in English :l). 

So, sekarang nak get ready for 2 months of cuti sem. NAK BUAT APA NI WOI? 

Masa itu emas. Masa itu penting. Jangan buangkan masa. Masa tak boleh dibeli. 

Masa itu…..something I’m dying to have in control with. Can i rewind the time and fix every single wrong doings I’ve done? I’m shouting but no one is listening. But, I know I’ll be alright. 

Kena pandai jaga diri la ye tak? 

Okay, serious bodoh Twitter tengah over capacity sekarang. Ngoiii

I’m tired, really. Tired of everything. I don’t even feel like talking anymore. And I keep asking myself, why? Why am I still here? Why is it that I feel as if my time to go is really near? Is that true? Would I know when I would really go? I can’t remember the last time I did any good to anyone - or even myself. I don’t want to sound all sad or needy whatsoever but I guess I need a little time off for myself. I need to clean myself. I need faith. I guess I’ve lost myself in the process of finding who I really am. 

the heck with it, PORN RAMAI RAMAI JUM? ;D

Its been so long since I’ve last posted here. Oh well, I’ve been busy. 

Anyway, something has been going through my mind for the last few days. I remember how atleast for the past 12 years when me and my mom visited my late grandfather at the general hospital in Kuala Lumpur almost everyday. I remember how exactly he was at his worse state of health and how I couldnt understand much back then. Late Grandfather passed away when I was seven, Al-Fatihah.

So last year, I went to visit the general hospital with my mom - she had an appointment with the doctor regarding her sight. Whats funny tho, the smell, the arrangement of furnitures, the shops, the atmosphere, I basicly remember every single one of them. Believe it. How I wish to still be seven when I was there. Why? I could assure to you that my eyes went red after a few moment there. I miss my Grandpa, tho we didnt spend much time together. How I wish I could show how much I care for him when he was still around. Come to think of it, theres so much things I could have done when he was still around, but the hell with it, I was still a kid that time. 

It’s just amazing how I would still remember where his ward was. This was 10-11 years ago. I remembered the lift, the stairs, they way to his ward. I remembered how the nurses were treating my Grandfather that time (stupid motherfuckers, tak nak kerja tak payah kerja la babi.)

This, seriously made me believe to the sentence “you’ll never learn to appreciate that someone until he/she is gone”. Much love Grandpa, I know you’re doing well up there. How I wish you would know how badly I miss you here. Al-Fatihah. :’)

I’m living with a bunch of unappreciative fucks. No more being nice. So, yeah, fuck all of you. Tengok diri sendiri bodoh ke tak sebelum judge orang kata aku bodoh, ye? Kau tu bukan nya pandai sangat pun. Duit beribu-ribu habis kat sekolah and tuition sama bodoh jugak. Stupid fuck. :)

Tak semestinya benda yang aku suka, benda tu bagus untuk aku dan tak semestinya benda yang aku tak suka, tak bagus untuk aku. CEHH! Ayat kasi baik sial. AHAH ayat tu saya curi daripada room mate saya. So, anyway, Core Maths is killing me. I hate numbers, and numbers hates me. Elok lah sangat tu en? Aku rasa macam nak tergolek time subject Maths pun ada, tapi apa kan daya. So many things to be done in such a short time. Aku memang teringin nak menulis kat blog ni but I just cant seem to find the right time and serious, semua benda yang aku nak tulis agak menyentuh hati. Bodoh la, mana ada menyentuh hati. More like terlebih personal. HAHA saya pemalu orangnya. :p

I got no photos to post here, everything seems to be moving so fast! Times flies like….arghh! If I ever say that I’m not stressed up; bodoh, I’m lying. Tho I’m feeling that way, I wont deny that my life has gone better. Thanks Allah for this gift. Alhamdulillah.

In conclusion, I need to force myself to achieve this. I can’t play around anymore *padahal masuk class menjerit sana sini macam orang baru keluar dari Tanjung Rambutan en* but yes, when I mean it’s time to get serious, I mean now. Goddammit, WHY DO YOU NUMBERS HATES ME SO MUCH?! :( Gi mampus la, aku kan hebat. HAHA :P

Chow, loves!

11/10. Yeah, damn right, motherfucker. :D

Haa title bodoh. I’m closing down tumblr. Its boring as hell. Chow loves! Contact me via facebook or my phone. This is boring. 

P/s: is loving my new life. hostel life is awesome! :D

Journey to the city. :)